UCM Testimony Page

Testimonies: "How I came to know Jesus"
(Testimony page)
Mal 3:16 Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name.

(This web page consists mainly of testimonies of the Salvation of our Lord, contributed by our Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Feel free to send me your own Testimony to be added. PJR)

How I came to know Jesus
I first breifly met Jesus at a church in Bonney Lake, Washington, after
many years of drug and alcohol abuse. I lived in a house of non-believers,
so it made it difficult. I eventually walked away. About 2 years later, I
moved to Spokane, Wa. to try to get my life together, after treatment and a
decision that my kids deserved better!! My husband chose not to give up the
drugs, so I left him there..2 months later he came to join us..Again, we
found the drug scene and it was much easier for him to help me get the drugs
than it was to help me quit!! I pleaded for months for God to let me die!!
When it became apparant that was not going to happen, I asked God to tell me
what to do. The next day a man and woman came to my door, and I invited them
in, they were from a local church. After speaking with them for a little
while and crying on their shoulder, I still waited for another 3 years
before I chose to accept God as my saviour.
I left my husband the night I called to say my goodbyes to some of my
family, I was getting into my car to put an end to my misery. My mom called
and that was the beginning of my life, yet, again. I went to Alcoholics
Annymous meetings, but could not find any higher power there..I gave up on
that and when I finally got my computer, I got connected to the internet and
found a lot of interesting people there..I kept hearing voices in my head
that made no sense, always garbled. I found someone there who helped me get
rid of these voices and led me to Jesus.. I chose to give my life to Christ
within a couple of weeks of talking to this man.
I will never forget what he has done for me!! I now have a very special
friend for life!! He has shown me a tremendous amount of compassion
,understanding, love in the Lord and guidance.
My next problem was to tell my family of non-believers what I had decided
to do.. I knew my mom would understand, but the rest I was not sure of. I
had never been alone in my life, physically, and this was very scary to me.
When I had no one to turn to, I would turn on my puter and there would be my
friend, always willing to listen, and offer tender words to help me through
my pain and fear. I spent many days at my puter just sobbing!!
He told me to find a church, which was scary too, because I did not want
just any church. The last church I went to, I could not learn anything, they
were always laughing, and many sermons were spent giggling!! I asked my mom
about this and she had a friend who knew of one. I decided to go to this
church and check it out. I spent about the first 2 months sitting, and
listening, and waiting for them to be like the other church.. They were
not!! I knew from that moment on, I was in the right place!!
I have truly been blessed with so many things in a short amount of time!!
My kids first decided they wanted no part of the journey I chose. They both
moved out. This probably should have saddened me, but I knew I had a lot of
stuff to work out before I could be a good mom. I welcomed the solitude. It
gave me a lot of time to talk with God and get my feet going in the right
direction. I did however, start feeling like I should try, yet, one more
time, to see if my marriage could work, my husband told me the day that I
was gonna ask him if we should still divorce, that he had a date. I guess
that answered my question!! I have since decided that I need to remain
single so as to gain strength in my walk with Jesus. Also, my husband told
me that the only reason he wanted to come back was for my daughter and so he
could get his finances in order, not because he missed me or loved me. I let
him know the only way he could get me back now was to go through Jesus. He
decided he did not want that. While this was painful after 19 years of
marriage, I have overcome this with the help of Jesus!
My kids are back home with me now, and while they have not given their
lives to Christ yet, they are not trying to hinder my walk with Him.
I am so glad I got my puter and met my very special friend and brother!!
Thank you Nick, for all you have done for me, God truly blessed me when He
sent you to me!! I love you Big Brother!!
I still have a long way to go, but I know that, with the help of my
Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, I will make it!! I am also very blessed to
have found a wonderful church with wonderful people who are willing to help
me learn and grow!!
Thank You Jesus for everything!
Forever in Christ, Rayma

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My Personal Testimony`
I was born in El Paso Texas. My dad was in the booming oil field. We
moved to where I live now at the age of 8 to Odessa, Texas. Raised in
a Christian parent's home I had my Salvation experience at the young
age of nine. I had been under conviction for some time, and then one
night in a service at our church I was spoken to by God. The next
night the pastor was asked by me and my parents to come over and talk
about accepting the free gift of salvation that Jesus had to offer. I
recieved Jesus Christ and was baptized at the age of nine. It was a
wonderful experience and I felt God alive in my heart for the first
time. It was as though I could hear all the angels in heaven
rejoicing. As I continued to grow in the Lord I became more aware
that he was calling me into the ministry. Then one summer at the age
of twelve I attended a church camp for young people. At the end of
the first day of camp it was time to go back to the cabin. It was
really dark for there was no lighting and I walked with a friend and
there appeared a bright light to the right of me. I could not see
this bright light but I felt it's presence. So as I continued to walk
I them realized this bright light was God as He was talking to me.
God told me; Stephen I have great plans for you. And I will prepare
you and take care of you as you do my service. I am calling you to be
a minister of the gospel and to follow my will as I have shared with
you here. You just preach and evangelize for me and I will take care
of the rest. This totally blew my mind, and my friend could not
comprehend to who I was talking to, as he thought I was crazy. But as
we continued to walk I was able to talk to my friend and share with
him what God had told me He wanted me to do for my life. As we got
back to the cabin and I had this experience I was so excited I
couldn't even sleep. I talked to the pastor and told him the
experience I had, and was ready to give my life to Jesus. I dedicated
my life that night to doing the Lord's will and his work. The next
night at invitation time I decided to go down and dedicate my life to
Jesus and His service. As my life appears one filled with love and
normalcy, it wasn't. Because I was abused and my parent's never knew
it was happening. It started a chain of event's that caused and made
my life develope into panic, anxiety, depression, and loneliness.
Though God had called me to serve Him it did not eliminate the
problems that I had. Being abused was a horrifying event in my
childhood, but with Gods help I made it through; Alive and continue
to serve Him as He wills me to do. Doing His will does not come easy
and does not eliminate the problems. But by the grace of God it Helps
the problems. Alot of people have asked me how can you serve God and
have gone through what you have and still have , and serve Him. But
when God calls you to do something for Him He takes care of you and
provides a way. God only asks for you to be available and that is the
key to serving Him. I have answered His call for my lifetime I am His
and He is mine. Through His redeeming Blood and through His Grace I
am His. Jesus is the very reason I live and the very reason I
survive. I serve Jesus on the internet for He has called me to be His
minister. Though I may have the problems of panic, depression and
anxiety; Jesus still loves me. Jesus does not look at what we are or
what we have, He looks at the soul and the intentions of our Heart.
He uses the Least of us. "For you see your calling, brethren, how
that not Many Mighty noble, are called: But God has chosen the
Foolish things of the world to confound the Wise; and God hath chosen
the WEAK things of the world to confound the things which are
Mighty;" 1Corinthians 1:26&27. "For I determined not to know any
thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and Him crucified" That your
faith should not stand in the Wisdom of Men, but in the Power of God"
1Corinthians 2:2&5. "Jesus prayed~"I thank thee, O Father, Lord of
heaven and earth, Because thou hast HID these things from the WISE
and PRUDENT, and hast REVEALED them unto BABES. Even so, Father; for
so it seemed good in thy sight" Matthew 11:25&26. "They that are
whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came
Not to call the Righteous, but Sinners to repentance."
Mark2:17. "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute
you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my
sake. Rejoice, and be Exceeding Glad; for Great is your reward in
heaven." Matthew 5:11&12. For if we had no problems , would we need
him? He knows our heart. Jesus I love you for how you loved me, yet
you came yourself to die for me. I also thank you Jesus for your
loving hand of forgiveness. Thank you for calling me to minister for
you. Though I have blemishes and scares You still use me.
There is a story about 2 women. One woman raised in a Christian home,
as normal as can be considered normal; not alot of changes, would
say she was well adjusted, grows up to live for God and as most,
want's to get a taste of the world, but goes on and continues to live
for God, and lives a productive life handling the everyday stresses,
and continuing on.
Then there is another woman, who is born into abuse and neglect, and
falls into the only pattern she has ever known; a life of sin,
looking to be loved and finding it nowhere, but doing everything she
can to find it. She wants desperately to Really live, but no one has
told her how yet. When she is 19, someone shares the love of Jesus
with her and she Runs to the alter to repent! She has finally
experienced Unconditional love, what she has been looking for all her
life. She loves Jesus with all her heart, but she does not have the
social skills nor the understanding of what a quote so called normal
Christian is. She feels guilty for having emotional problems, she has
prayed and asked God to remove this thorn, and feels like she does
not meet up to what everyone else thinks she should be as a believer
in Jesus. But in Gods Great Mercy, He has a plan for this woman. He
is going to use her pain for His glory. You see she is the woman who
came to Jesus at the pharasee's house, and fell to His feet weeping
and began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with her
hair. The pharasee thought, "if this man was the Son of God then He
would know what kind of woman this is. And Jesus knew what he was
thinking to himself; and asked him a question. Now I ask you to find
the answer to this question by going to the book of Luke chapter 7:36-
50 and find the answer. You see the first woman is an overcomer. But
the second woman is More than an overcomer!
My prayer is that all who enter here will find this a place of
refuge, and mercy. For mercy surley triumphs over judgement. If you
do not know Jesus and want to know Him like I do please email me.
That is what I am here for! You cannot wait until you get your life
together. You come to Jesus Just as you are. Broken, sin and all! If
you know Jesus but struggle as this woman in the story; please email
me. If you want to talk with another woman I can lead you to the
woman in this story. Jesus said He came to heal the broken hearted.
And he uses people like me and you.
~I offer you Jesus~
Stephen Thurman

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My name is Gerri, I came to the lord after
searching and praying, god if your real show me
how I am to follow you.
Not long after my family was invited to attend
a Pentecostal church called Mt Zion Tabernacle
in Brush Prarie,Washington.
They were having revival services every night.
I went with my parents and found myself standing
at the front recieving christ as my saviour.
Not many days after that I was prayed for and
felt the almost overwhelming peace flood over
me that I had never experienced before.
I felt love and peace fill my soul and spirit and
knew then beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus
was real.
I found peace, love and acceptance and the knowledge
that I sought.
That was in 1982 and I haven't looked back, I am
still looking to my lord and serving him.

I was born into sin, although a young child doesn't actually know the
dangers sin does to ones soul, or the difficulty they go through. I was
born into sin. As, I grew up and started to learn in a worldly sense
that there was a God, and what happened to human kind in the garden of
eden. This is where sin started.

I do forgive Adam and Eve for causing sin to begin. The journey through
my life has been filled with sin, and it wasnt until 1989 when I finally
met Jesus. In a doctor's office discussing religion vs Jesus, my eyes of
my soul were opened for the first time. The flood gates opened up just
as the rain did for Noah, but this time it was a small crack of light
shining through my sinful dark soul from years and years of danger and
difficulty and feeling of unworthiness came flooding in.

A hand reached in to tell me ever so gently that He loved me. I cried,
love what was it? I knew nothing about love-for I had never felt love,
and unconditional love knocked on my door that day in 1989, and a gift
of poetry and writing was also given to me, because God my Father knew
that I would go through many roller coaster rides on my journey to
really wanting to be ONE with Him through Jesus, and His words would
speak to me through the gift and lead me to where he wanted me to be.

Tears run down my face now, as I marvel at this precious gift of
Salvation He has given each one of us. I just want Jesus in my life my
soul wants to drink in all his wisdom, and joy and love ...I want to sit
on His lap, as a young child sits on their Dad's lap and feels that hug
or gentle pat to say I am worthy! Salvation is the Light at the end of
that dark tunnell, and I am so thankful to Jesus for making that
sacrifice for my sinful soul.

That, I have this chance to tell others about Jesus and know without a
shadow of a doubt that I love Jesus. One day, we will be in His garden
and you will see Me sitting on His lap and a smile on my face, for I
know the Lord Jesus and I felt His love and gift of Salvation. If you
dont have Jesus in your heart and soul, please ask him today. Jesus died
for me and most of all He died for you too, to share in the joyous love
and gift of Salvation.

... My parents got divorced when I was 2 and a half years old. My
father had been married twice before my mother and once after my mother. I
have a brother and a sister which more than likely don't even know I exist.

My father used to hit my mother and I can remember them fighting all
the time. Her crying because she loved him and could not believe he would
do this. They got back together a few times, my mom fell pregnant with my
sister, the one day they had a huge fight. He hit her, all I can remember
was her screams. she lay there and to be quite honest i thought that she
was dead, because she could not speak, move or anything. That was the last
for her, she left him for the last time.

She met a wonderful man and they were married in 1991. Still
together and very happy. I love and respect him. He is my father,
and a really amazing one at that.

At the age of 16 years old I was raped by someone who i really
liked. Sweet talker, and knew exactly what words to say, which buttons to
push. We worked together and due to the fact that i was training with him i
had to take lunch when he did. I never expected what was to follow. He
went swimming and asked me to swim with him. I told him that i did not have
my costume with me, he told me that a costume was not necessary. But still
decided it was best not to swim. We were sitting by the pool after he had
swam, and that is when he kissed me. Which to me was fine because i had
been kissed before. The next second, he tried to unbutton my shorts. i
told him that i was not ready for that, the next second i was on the floor,
and it was quick and over.

I did a turn for the worst after that and started bunking school,
where i met a really remarkable guy. We got very close very quick which for
me was amazing because of all i had been through. he treated with respect
and love, so i thought at that time. After about four months we started
sleeping together, and at this time God was far out of my mind.

We used to fight quite often, but because i cared about him i
stayed. i was heading the same way as my mother !

At age 18 i fell pregnant with his child. He did not believe at
first that it was his because i had been in England for three months.
What he failed to remeber was that the night that i left for
England, we got engaged. I had never cheated on him in the three years that
we were together. On the day that i found out he said "we have to get it
sorted", which killed me. So to keep him that is what i did. At four
months pregnant i had an abortion. Shortly after this i could not handle
him, or the way my life was and so broke up with him.

i was suicidle, on the verge of a nervous break down, and also
suffered manic deppression. i was dissapointed by everything that went on
around me. i think that if i could have i would have taken my own life. I
could have taken my own life but every attempt made was unsuccessful.
Doesn't this say something ....

Every time i went to church, it seemed, as if the services were
aimed right at me. They were all about abortion, killing, obeying the
commandments. On hearing this i used to run out of the church and cry
because of how guilty i felt. Thanks to one of my first true loves, i
managed to build up the courage to ask for prayer. i was prayed for and at
the same time i was forgiven.

A heavy burdon was lifted off my shoulders and i was made whole by
Christ My God.

this is just in short, i could go on for hours but decided that this
is just the basics and these are things that made my life turn.
Please contact me at lharveyusa@hotmail.com

In view of a recent excursion into the shadow of disillusionment, I thought
I would remind myself again of so great salvation as was wrought for me in
my hour of my visitation! I herein set forth an exposition of the wonderful
way in which I was found of Christ and was thoroughly changed forever!

I had originally come to the Lord circa 1982, but I was found wanting in
ways indicative of the parable of the sower. I have by now fulfilled all
four categories of the heart in that parable. I had a wayside heart for
years, and anything I heard was stolen from me. I had a stony heart also
with no depth. I have had a thorny heart and have had the cares of this
world and the deceitfulness of riches enter in and steal the word from me. I
believe I have a good ground heart at this writing. I certainly want the
Lordship of Christ to reign and have His way in me. I want to be willing and
obedient just like it says in Isaiah 1:19. I do not seek after a sinful life
or nature and I want to flee iniquity, but I can be tricked at times by my
own flesh, the world, and the devil, but thank God for 1 John 1:9!

At any rate, I was taken up in sin greatly during the 1986- 1996 decade. I
did stuff I knew better than to do. I knew it was sin, but I did it any way.
I actually could not stop. My sins were many and grievous, as all sins are.
I never did anything more than other men, really, but I was convicted of it
a lot more because of the faith and confession to the Lord back in '82. My
closet had it's skeletons, but the Lord has forgiven me of all my past life,
and I know He has, for He told me so!

I was caught in sin, and devilish carnality had hold of me to the extent
that I enjoyed sinning on the one side and was made very uncomfortable in my
soul on the other. I was caught in a strait betwixt the two, and I wanted
out, but just could not give it up. I was addicted to sin! I would wake up
in the wee hours of the morning while my wife slept beside me, and I would
look up into the ceiling and say in a whisper, "Lord. I am sinning, and I
cannot stop! Please help me!" This went on for quite some time.

At Christmas, 1995 my wife bought me an electronic bible and concordance.
One of those little handheld deals (I have it to this day) which you can use
to read or search for scriptures. I had no use for the thing, and it sat on
the end table by my couch until about late February of 1996. I was "home
alone" one day and as I sat, I idly picked the "e bible" up and opened the
cover and turned it on. I felt like playing with it for some reason, and I
entered the first word that came into my head, which was "unforgiven"! I
felt that word described my plight pretty well! It began to whirl and cycle
through the canon of the word, and then a little info panel opened up on the
screen saying, "Unforgiven not in bible." The split second I read those
words, something like a rushing wind blew through me so powerfully I thought
the door must be open and a wind blowing! I had thought I had sinned to a
point where there could be no forgiveness. I suddenly knew I was wrong, and
that the Lord wanted to set me free!

A few days later in March 1996, I was coming back home from a trip on my job
as a truck driver. I was west of Toronto, Ontario and I was approaching an
exit where there was a large truck stop and it had a bible chapel on the
lot. As I approached the exit at highway speed, I suddenly heard an audible
voice speak, saying "Turn aside!" I thought I was imagining things! I
continued to approach the exit, and made no move to obey the voice. The
voice spoke again, more commandingly this time! "Turn aside!" I instantly
had a recollection of one sermon I had heard years before when I was a
regular church goer for a short while. It was about how Moses saw a bush
burning without being consumed, and he "turned aside" to have a better look!
I just snapped the wheel over to the exit ramp and braked stiffly to slow
for the turn into the truckstop! I entered the lot and it was so full of
trucks that there was no place to park. I elected to chalk it up as an
overactive imagination, and I began to pull back out on the road. I was
coming by the bible chapel, and just then a truck pulled out from a stall
right beside the chapel! I "knew" I had best park in the hole he left! I
still was bewildered by it all, and I looked in my pocket and only had a
quarter, not enough even for a cup of coffee! I thought I would just phone
the boss, and get under way! As I came adjacent to the steps of the bible
chapel, this voice spoke one last time and said, "Turn aside!" I went up the
steps and into the chapel to find an elderly gent nodding away in a rocking
chair at the far end of the room. My entrance stirred him from his napping ,
and he asked me what he could do for me. I explained how I had heard this
mysterious audible voice three times telling me to "turn aside", and that I
had come in there now figuring I had best ask him to hear my confession, and
pray for me. I bared my soul, and he ministered and prayed. I felt a burden
lift and a definite release as though I had been washed clean! It was
tangible in its effect! I was in the chapel about two hours, captivated by
the love. The second the minister said amen to the prayer, the door opened
up and another trucker came in to visit! I went home feeling like I had a
new lease on life!

The very next weekend I just "knew" I had to get to church! I found a
charismatic church I knew about, but arrived late. The service was soon
over, and an explanation that a visiting ministry from the "Toronto
Blessing" would be there that same evening (St Patricks day, March 17th
1996). I felt I should come back to that service! Sure enough, I got there
and this minister was up preaching a sermon he called "The frozen chosen!"
At the end of the message, there was a prayer line and I needed to be in it!
I went up, unashamed in a crowd of strangers! The manifestations of
spiritual power were plainly evident in a way I have seldom seen since that
day! Two girls in their mid twenties came up and manifested demons, and this
guy commanded them out, and they went screaming and leaving the now clean
vessels lying on the floor! People were stacked up like cordwood, and I
said, "Lord there is no way I want to make that spectacle of myself!" The
minister came to me, and I told him I was healed and forgiven of my
backsliding ways, and wanted the gift of the Holy Spirit! He began to pray
in other tongues and then said that "Out of my belly shall flow rivers of
living water!" He laid hands on me and I felt a ping like the shock one gets
from walking on a static charged rug! The screen of my mind turned red! My
lips and temples went numb! I fell over backwards, not giving a care! I lay
prone for only about a minute, and I arose a new creature! I knew I was
different! I was finally genuinely happy! I could feel this Presence! My
mind felt clean! For 12 days afterwards, I felt like I was literally walking
on a cushion of air! I later began to realize the totality of my
deliverance! I did not want to steal anymore. I did not want to watch
pornography. I did not want to swear. I no longer felt overwhelmed in self
pity! I had a capacity for the word, and it came alive every time I read the
bible! I could memorize scripture, and retain it easily! I was given a
prayer language of my own! I felt like I was a totally converted vessel! I
have never wanted to go back to my former state since that day!

When I jumped into the car on the way home from that service, I only drove
about an eighth of a mile, and I had this uncontrollable urge to weep! I
pulled to the shoulder and wailed and wailed! I asked out loud, "Lord, why
am I crying?" I heard a voice so loudly in my spirit man and yet speaking
gently, and he said, "You have just realized all your sins are forgiven! You
have finally seen My face and not just My hand!"

Thus began a new day and a new way for me! My life is not a shadow of what
it was 4 years ago! The changes are all encompassing! The only thing I can
honestly say I have now that I had back then is the skin that covers the
glory within! I praise and thank God for that day!
I feel led to include this word He gave me soon after! It is my bible and I
can read it personally. Where the bible says Ephraim, I could see my name
written as plain as day!

Jer 31: 18. I have surely heard LARRY bemoaning himself thus; Thou hast
chastised me, and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke:
turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the Lord my God.

19. Surely after that I was turned, I repented; and after that I was
instructed, I smote upon my thigh: I was ashamed, yea, even confounded,
because I did bear the reproach of my youth.
20. Is LARRY my dear son? is he a pleasant child? for since I spake against
him, I do earnestly remember him still: therefore my bowels are troubled for
him; I will surely have mercy upon him, saith the Lord.

Before I begin my testimony I feel it is important to give you some information on my childhood, so you will be better able to understand some of the decisions I made in my life, however stupid they may have been. But every decision I have made during my lifetime good or bad is what has brought me to where I am now and I am very thankful for the mountains and the valleys.

When I was born my mother was only fifteen years old and now years later and after I went through the process of forgiving her and working through many things, I am now able to look at her life through her eyes to try to better understand how she must have felt. Someone gave me this advice when I was really struggling with all of this, I was told that maybe I could forgive easier if I try to see her life through her eyes and not the eyes of a hurt child, you know what, it worked, I can understand her more clearly now. She was not mature enough to take care of herself much less a baby. So she would send me here and there to whomever would willing to take me at that particular time, most of the time it was my grandmother, several times throughout my life she would decide that she wanted me back and she would come and uproot me again. I never really knew any stability in my life and I always felt as if no one really loved me or wanted me.

Then at the age of nine she came and got me and took me away from my grandmother which, really at this point of my life, was the only mother I had ever known and I was very attached to her. Anyway, my mother came and took me to Illinois where she lived, by this time she had remarried and she had two more children by her new husband. He hated me and the only reason I could figure out was simply that I was not his child. Now this was not my fault, although I did blame myself for many years. He started just physically abusing me, but at the age of nine that changed, he raped me and this abuse went on until I was thirteen and I finally told my mother, she didn’t believe me, actually no one believed me. Finally I just let it drop and I buried all of those feelings of anger and hate for years, that has now all been dealt with and forgiven and now it is all under the precious blood of Jesus, Praise God. I told my mother that I wanted to go back to Memphis to live with my grandmother and she consented just because she felt I was causing so much trouble and she did not want to be bothered.

Now my grandmother was now also remarried and I resented him for taking her away from me too. You must remember I was only a child and I felt like she was all I had and now I had lost her too. I was very hateful to him and caused so many problems, he was very kind and loving to me but I just could not accept what he was offering to me. My grandmother finally after a long struggle went to the courts and told the judge that I was out of control and they just could not handle me any longer, so they removed me and placed me in a foster home, the home I went to was wonderful, but at that time I could not see things clearly, all I could see was that the only person who should love me had now turned her back on me as well, I just wanted my grandmother so, I ran away. The courts then really called my bluff, so as a ward of the State of Tennessee I was placed in a Catholic all girls reform school for three and a half years. Now as I look back, I can honestly say it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But at that time all I could see was that I was totally alone, unloved and unwanted in this great big world.

Now I will jump ahead some. In 1987 I lost my three children to their father and I totally lost it. I turned heavily to alcohol and eventually that turned into crack and cocaine. By this time I had lost everything including my dignity as I had turned to prostitution to support my drug habit. I was arrested several times on various charges, but I was never convicted and I never served any time, I know that God was taking care of me even back them in my sin, He saw what I would be one day in Him. I give GOD all the PRAISE, HONOR AND GLORY for all that I am today and all that I will be.

The drugs and my roaming had taken me to many places but on December 20, 1990 I came across a man that told me about Jesus and how He could deliver me and make my life an example to others. I had not eaten in a couple of days and he asked me if I was hungry, so he took me to a restaurant and bought me something to eat. The entire time he shared about Jesus Christ with me. He told me Christ could and would set me free if I was willing, and how He (Jesus), would give me a new life without all the pain and turmoil I was living in. Of course being a Christian does not eliminate us from pain, trials and tribulation but with Christ in our hearts He will give us the strength to overcome and withstand even in the worst times. I began sharing my life story with this man and he still said Jesus is the answer, and boy was he right. Right there I gave my heart to the Lord and I decided to live for Him and serve Him for the rest of my life.

I had been singing for many years and I had destroyed my voice through drug abuse, I just abused the gifts that God had given me. So I prayed and told the Lord that if He would heal and restore my voice I would use this gift for His glory for the rest of my life. Now, God has done exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask or think. The songs that I sing and others that I have written they are all His I am only an instrument holding the pen. It does not matter where you are, Christ will come to you and meet you if, you are willing to let your life go and let Him be God of and in your life.

I have had so many miracles in my Christian life as I am a walking miracle myself. One of these miracles really stands out to me and I would like to share this with you as well. About four or five years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable bowel condition, the doctors were not real sure what it was exactly, but they had come to the conclusion that with ulcers all through my body and many in my bowel system, they said they wanted to do surgery and remove some of the bowel. My reply was that I wanted to get prayer for this and that I believed that God was going to heal me and I will not need the surgery at all. They went ahead and scheduled me for another scope the following week, just a few days after Christmas. Then on Christmas Eve I placed a long distance call to a minister friend of mine and asked him to pray for me, he said no problem but he would need to call me back in a few minutes. While waiting for him to call back I got about ten bibles and placed them opened on the floor in a circle and one opened in the middle of the circle. When he called me back I knelt on the bible in the middle and said, “pray”. When he prayed for me the fire of God hit me and went through me, I had such a peace come over me. I went over to my bed and fell asleep (now Adam was put into a deep sleep in Genesis when God removed the rib to create woman) God did the same for me as I lay there sleeping He performed surgery on me to heal my body. I slept for seventeen hours and when I woke the bleeding had stopped and so had the pain, I knew without a doubt that I was healed by the precious hand of the Master. I was on about $400.00 worth of medicine a month and I went into the kitchen and threw it all in the trash. I did go back for the scope when I was scheduled and the doctors were amazed there were no ulcers anywhere and I just praised God for His healing power.

I am now an ordained minister and I am married to a wonderful man who is also a minister. We know God has put us together for a ministry and we are enjoying serving the Lord together. I am now a southern gospel singer\songwriter. The Lord has blessed me and I will continue on this road He has placed me on for my desire is only to serve Him. I will travel anywhere I am invited to give my testimony or to sing or both. God is wonderful and it is to His glory that I am writing this, if one soul is reached in any way then this is worth everything.

Again I cannot stress enough that this is for the glory of God that I am here and that my life is what it is today, for without Christ we are nothing, but through Him we are joint heirs with Him. He is our Deliverer, Savior, Helper, and Healer and any problem we may have is never to great for Him to help us, we just have to take it to Him and leave it at His feet and in His care. I thank God for His power is still healing, still saving and still delivering. He is good all the time. I have made my mistakes but His grace is sufficient. God loves us and if we truly repent and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we can help anyone out there, please contact us at the information provided below and we will do our best to help in any way we can. If you have questions about loved ones who may be on drugs or other addictions we will try to answer your questions, if we do not know we will do our best to find the answer for you. If you have loved ones that you need prayer for we will gladly join you in agreeing for that person for the Kingdom. Please always remember we are human and we will make mistakes but just confess to God those mistakes and get them under the blood of Jesus as soon as possible, God still loves us and He will help us in all of our situations. So many have asked me about my children, they are all very close to me now even though they live far from me, my oldest daughter is in canada with her husband and their son, my baby girl is in memphis tenn, and she has two little girls that are beautiful and my son is in miss. with his wife and they have a son and another one on the way, my husband and I also have several adopted children and one lives here in texas by us and plans to marry she does have a 6 year old son who keeps us all on our toes. I just wanted to let everyone know that when God restores He does a great job.

GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL. I GIVE FULL PERMISSION TO ANYONE WHO CAN USE THIS TESTIMONY TO COPY IT AND GIVE IT OUT OR TO SHARE IT PUBLICALLY, BUT PLEASE GIVE ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE TO GOD. THANK-YOU. WE ARE YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER IN CHRIST JESUS.
Jerry & Shelia Holcomb
Feel free to email us at:
rainbow1@imws.net
http://rainbowoftexas.org

" Do you think you will get saved tonight? " the woman asked me but I just
shook my head and said " One thing I know for sure is that you can not get
saved anytime you want!" She just stared at me and bite her bottom lip and
nodded her head. Both her and her husband had been praying for me ever since
they received Christ some two years before and now we were getting ready to
walk out to the car and head to a revival meeting at their church. They knew
about my sixteen year drug habit but nothing about my involvement in the
occult for the last twenty years. Their prayers had turned my world upside
down and brought me to the lowest point of my miserable life. After a short
drive we arrived at the church and went in to find seats. I felt like I had
ice water in my veins and could feel nothing for these Christian accept
contempt and indignation but I had been reading the bible and had fallen
under conviction and told God I would go to church no matter how
uncomfortable it was for me. As the service came to the end the speaker
asked everyone to stand and bow their heads and close their eyes. He start
to talk about Jesus Christ and how he died for our sins but as he was
speaking I started seeing another service, like a movie in my mind. With my
eyes still closed it was like I was overlooking a church filled with
children. "I remember this place!" I thought as I could still hear the
preacher but I was watching this other service. I was watching a children
service I had attended over twenty years ago and there, yes right there,
standing in the pew was a twelve year old little red headed boy, it was me.
Now it was like both preachers were giving the same invitation at the same
time, "If you want Jesus to come into your heart and be your Lord and Savior
just raise your hand." The little red headed boy clinched the back of the
pew and held on to it tight. I remembered all the foolish reasons I wouldn't
raise my hand that day in the kid's service and then thought "I could have
avoided all the misery of the last twenty years if I had only raised my hand
back then."The next thought was so strong and it hit me like a ton of
bricks, "I didn't raise my hand then and I have not raised my hand now!" The
preacher was asking again was there anyone who would raise there hand? I
felt a cry come from deep down inside me and tears rushed my eyes as I let
out a loud groan and raised my hand. I went forward and prayed the sinner's
prayer with the pastor of the church but when we finished the prayer I fell
down on my knees and closed my eyes tight and prayed for a long time. There
on my knees God showed me that my heart had turned cold and that there
wasn't anything I could do on my own to change this. I prayed "Lord Jesus if
you'll give me a new heart I'll serve you all the days of my life whether
things get better or not." Nothing happened so I opened my eyes. I heard a
still small voice say " What will you do now?" I answered "I've prayed
everything I know to pray and I told God I would serve him so I guess I'll
buy some church clothes and start going to church." But it had been so hard
to get to church that first night that the thought of repeating this same
ordeal every week was totally overwhelming. I let go a small sigh and prayed
"Lord Jesus where do I start" Again I heard that still small voice but this
time it seemed to speak from across the room. I looked up to see what He was
talking about and there on the wall I saw it, what he meant when he had said
"Right hear". On the wall hung a large wooden cross. I started to say "That
right , Jesus died on the cross for sinners" but I caught my self in mead
sentence and said instead "That Right, Jesus died for ............me."
What happen next is hard to explain, I saw two large ghostly looking black
things fly from me and shot straight thru the roof and I was free. I could
feel the love of God all around me and peace like I had never known. I was
stunned to say the least and I prayed "What should I do now" and the still,
small voice said " Try to get to your feet". I had been kneeling there at
the alter for around twelve minutes or so and both of my legs and feet had
fallen asleep.
I was water baptized a few days later and received the baptism of the Holy
Ghost just twenty one days after that first night in church. That was over
fourteen years ago and I am glad to share my story with you all today.
Love one another, Twice-born child
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or
distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it
is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as
sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than
conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither
death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things
present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature,
shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus
our Lord.

I got an invitation to join Joshua Ministries yesterday. I dont know how he got my email address but I was excited and thats why I am here. I did not get chance to reply yesterday but today I am sharing my heart with all of you.

I am always excited to meet more members of our big family. We are all children of our Father in Heaven. We all are here simply because we all love Jesus. Its not any more about us but its all about Jesus and what He did for us.

We can only please our Father if we love one another and others around us. Thats what our Father wants. LOVE comes first.

But in order to love a person you got to know that person first. So I will make all my effort to tell you all about me. And I expect the same from all of you here. I am hoping to knowing all of you in the future and work and help each other to further the kingdom of our Father.

So far I have read those written by Carla Lacoretti, Shirley Lise and Kathleen's prayer request. I think they are all awesome. Praise God! Hoping to know you all in the future.

I have a testimony written out. Its a bit long but thought that would be a good way to start a conversation or tell about myself. It also tells about my VISION and where I stand now. I hope everybody will make some time to read it. Would love to hear from all of you.

Finally I got done with a draft of my testimony. I could not get into the details like I wanted to. And I think it would be lot longer if I had the skills to write it out all. I hope it gives you some idea of what my past was like, what made me become a Christian and now that I am a Christian what I want to do.

I started out writing my testimony. I wanted to write about my past as much as I could but it became complicated. So I thought I would start after my high school.

After my high school I wanted to come to America. The source of information about America was the media- American movies. Through movies I imagined America to be kind of a paradise- with all those luxuries and above all women. And also two of my good friends had already been to the US. To me then coming to America became an obsession. But how to come to America was a problem.

Having gone to St.Xavier's School which is run by Jesuits, I had a fairly good educational foundation. So coming to America as a college student might be an option. But you needed to show sufficient funds to cover your expenses while you are in the US unless you get a full scholarship. So I had a problem there as my family was in no state to support me.

I had applied to several colleges and Monmouth College had accepted me so I had decided to go there. The cost for a semester at Monmouth was $5000. Now how to get that much money. I thought of talking to the people at Youth Environmental Therapy/Educational Sponsorship in Asia(YET- ESA). This organization had helped me through out my high school. I asked them for $4000. I had also told them that I would pay back in about 2 years. This proposal was very unusual as they could sponsor a child for $50 a year. And $4000 would mean sponsoring 80 kids.But still I thought it would be okay like I always did. And they approved my proposal. I did not once thought about God. I just took it for granted like I always did.

Now there was a program through YMCA that people from Nepal could go to the US during summer to work as an international camp counselor. The co-ordinator for this summer camp was an uncle of my best friend. So I did not have problem being selected as one of the camp counselor. Getting a visa for such camp counselor was relatively easy. So I got my visa and thought to my self that I was so lucky.

Everything worked out all fine and I just took it for granted. I again thought that everything will just work out fine as it had been the case so far. Now I was getting ready to leave. I had the visa and $4000 for atleast a semester at school. I did not know what would do the second semester. But thought it would be okay. I did not have faith in God as I did not know him. But I had faith in something that assured me that everything would be okay.

So it was in June of 1998 that I left Nepal for US. I still remember that day at the airport when I was so happy to leave Nepal. I was thinking to myself that I was going to a paradise. Boarding on the plane gave me extreme sense of joy.

I landed at the JFK airport in New York. Little after I got in New York, I forgot why I was in America. I forgot the promise that I had made to the people at YET-ESA. But it did not bother me. I was slowly getting blinded by my own pleasure seeking mind.

My camp was in St. Paul, MN. I had a really good co-workers and a boss. I met one American friend and used to hang out with him a lot. I was not 21 but he was a regular at one of the bars so he just took me in. Smoking and drinking was not new to me. Life in the US was just starting.

Since I was in a day camp, I had a host family. They were really nice people. I used to spend much time with my new American friend. We would drink, smoke and just have a good time. I was just going with a flow. I was all about having fun.

Later that summer I wanted to go visit my friend from Nepal. And it really worked out fine again so that I could go see him. I spent about a week at his place. All the time I was there spent in drinking and having a good time. I even tripped on acid for the first time. It did not bother me at all. I was doing whatever felt good to me.

In no time the summer was over. It was time for me to go to my college. My host family bought me a train ticket to my college from St. Paul. After a long train ride via Chicago I got to Galesburg, IL about 15 miles away from Monmouth, IL. To my surprise, Monmouth was such a little town. But college was okay. I just felt like I was on a vacation more than I was there to study.

Days went by. I did not know what to do for the next semester as it was such a little town and getting a job was difficult. And I was on J-1 visa so I could not work on campus as well. Then the reality started to hit me. I did not know what to do for money. I had literally no any source of money.

Rev. Fannin was the chaplain in college. She was also my advisor. For some reason I thought about talking to her about my financial problem. I went to talk to her with the same face that I had put on while I talked to the people at YET-ESA. She gave me hope that things will work out. And I thought to myself that it would be okay like I always did. And all these times I was smoking and drinking without her knowledge.

Before the end of the semester, I was called by the Administration Offiice and was told that I did not have to worry about the finance for the next semester. I was also told that if I worked during the summer I had to contribute to the cost of my tuition. I left the office with a happy heart. I knew it was sort of a miracle but did not give that glory to God. Instead I took all the credit thinking it was me who made that happen. It was something exceptional that had happened but I again took it for granted. So I was again all set.

Winter Break 1998 was just about the corner. I decided to go to San Francisco, CA to visit another friend of mine. I took a grey hound all the way from Galeburg, IL to San Francisco, CA. I spent a whole month there. All the time was just about having fun. Drinking and cruising around in a car. I completely forgot about how my expense was being met.

I got back to Monmouth after a month. I put on a different face in front of Rev. Fannin. I thought she would not know anything that I did while I was in San Francisco.

Semester went by. Rev. Fannin used to have a weekly Monmouth Christian Fellowship meeting. I used to go there just because she was there. I used to go there on Wednesday but I always got drunk on weekends. It did not bother me at all. I was addicted to sinful life and was blinded.

Soon the semester was over and was time for summer. It was the summer of 1999. I went to Chicago with two of my friends. I lied my way to get a job through a temporary agency. It all worked out fine. I took the credit of making everything happen so smoothly. So we all got a job at a pretty good place. Since there was no school we spent time gettting drunk and bar-hopping and clubbing.

One night we went to one Nepalese brother's apartment fully drunk. He got shocked seeing us at that state. And he tried to advise me and warned me that we were in the US and not in Nepal. But I did not pay any attention to him instead laughed silently at him thinking that he does not know whats having fun is like.

The money earned during the summer was spent in various things and told my college that I had only $1600 left and that was all I made. No guilt conscious at all.

Fall of 1999 started. There was no change in me at all. I still went to the Monmouth Christian Fellowship on Wednesdays. I still smoked and got drunk. I still had that lust inside of me. And I still went to the classes and maintained a good grade.

Again the semester got done. And it was time for winter break. The Winter 1999. I again decided to go to San Francisco, CA. This time two other friends joined us in San Francisco. This time it was more wild than last winter. We would get drunk like every nights. We would just walk around the streets and just enjoy the moment. It was definitely a very good time.

After the short winter break I was back in school for the Spring 2000. Still there was no change in me but was only getting worse. Every year during spring the school takes students fot an alternative spring break in different parts of the country for community service work. I had gone last spring because Rev. Fannin was going with us. But this year she was not going and one of my friend was coming to Kansas City to his brother's place. So I decided to go visit him instead.

I got in Kansas City and met my friend after about 2 years. All the time we were there again got drunk and just spent talking. His brother had just graduated from college and was working. He tried to advise us and tried to tell us how hard was for him to finish school. He told us all about hard work but I did not listen to him as I thought I knew it all and was doing the right thing.

Soon the spring semester was over and was time for another summer. This was summer of 2000.I again decided to go to San Francisco. Again this time I lied my way to get a job through a temporary agency. I got a job at Bank of America. It was a very easy job and good paying. Like always I spent my money drinking, bar-hopping and clubbing.

At the bar there was a Christian philipino man. He invited me to come to the church. I asked him if there were girls at the church. And he said yes. So every Sundays I used to wake up early in spite of a hang-over. I even forced my friend to go with me. So we used to go to this Philipino Church. I did not pay attention to what the preacher was saying. My eyes were going around the room looking for pretty girls. So I made some friends at the church. But they did not know my intention of coming to the church.

Again the summer was over. This time I said I made $2200 to the college. And thats what I contributed. I did not feel guilty at all.

Fall 2000 started. Still I did not change. This time it was only getting worse. From alcohol and pot, I jumped to cocaine. I did not feel bad about anything. As long as I was having a good time, nothing mattered to me.

Later into the semester I was again called by the administration and notified that I no longer had the sponsor. I did not feel bad. I thought it would be okay again. I thought as I had come this far, things will be okay. I still had that blind faith, obviously not in God. I thought of transferring to University of Central Oklahoma where my friend used to go. I thought I would stay with him. So the whole semester got wild. I thought it was the last semester and just did not think about anything. Got more heavy into cocaine and alcohol.

And I got a acceptance letter from UCO for Spring 2001. So the semester got done pretty quick. Again the winter time came. And again I longed for the sunny California. This time there were 3 other friends with me. Having bade farewell to Monmouth and people there, four of us headed to San Francisco in a car. Winter of 2000 was starting. It was a long but exciting road-trip. This break was even more wild than the other two. Smoking heavily and drinking heavily. I was having the time of my life.

Soon I started to feel kind of weird. I begin to feel like we were in a movie and started to do stupid things. But then it felt like I was doing the right thing. I thought that I could do anything. I completely forgot where I was and did not even attempt to realize why I had come to the US. Forget about the promises that I had made to the people at the YET-ESA and Rev. Fannin.

One day I got in trouble at the bar and the police came to get me. After some questioning and keeping me in jail for sometime they transferred me to San Francisco General Hosptial's Psychiatric ward. Doctors there diagnosed me as being a Bi-Polar. They released me and again I was back in the hospital.

They were ready to send me home (Nepal) as I had been in and out of the hospital. And nobody wanted to take me in so I was almost sent back to Nepal. But it did not happen. I somehow convinced my friend in Oklahoma to take me in. By this time I was already late for the spring semester. He also hesitated. I convinced the nurse at the hospital that he was going to take me in. So I left in March, 2001 for Edmond, OK from San Francisco.

My friend came to pick me up at the Greyhound bus stop. Till then I thought everything was going to be okay. I was still in a dream-land. When I finally got to his apartment and after a little while the reality hit me. I saw how my friend was going school and working at the same time. And I remembered my school days getting drunk, getting high and missing classes. Here my friend was working so hard and going to school. This time it was different. It was as if the reality was there for ever. It was not like the other times. This time it was very different cause for the first time I thought about God. I realized that I was not the powerful one. I came to my senses that it was not me who was making things happen the way it had been in the past.I thought about God and realized His existence. I thought God finally got me and He was there to punish me. Twenty three years of my life came back to me in a flash and I stood there not knowing what to do. Till that moment I had never looked back and realized what I had been doing so far. Now I recalled the past years and could see clearly that each year it was getting worse but I did not just realize then. I had no excuse for what I had put myself into. Nothing was real to me but God. I just thought that God was not going to leave me alone. I just did not want to live. I had no hope and wished so badly to lose myself.

My friend noticed a change in me and kept on questioning about my intense psychological trauma. I did not know how to explain him what I was going through. I just literally would sit on the couch all day and just think about the way to kill myself. I had no energy to do anything.

My father and brother were in Australia and somehow found out that I was in Edmond at my friend's place. So I got a call from them. I did not know what to tell them. I did not want to talk to them. I was just felt that I was the disgrace of the world and did not have the courage to talk to them.

Days just passed by and I just felt I was just being a burden to my friend. I wanted to get away from him and all the people I knew. So on May 7th, 2001 I left Edmond telling my friend that I was going to Ocean City, MD to work for the summer. I bought a ticket to Ocean City. All along the bus ride was so painful. I was so much in guilt and just wanted to die.

I got in Baltimore but did not have the guts to go to Ocean City. I knew I would meet lots of people from Nepal there and I was embarrased to even see them. So I had to go somewhere else. I just picked New York City. I had gone to New York in summer of 1999 with some of my friends so I had a little idea about the city. I got in Port Authority Bus Terminal in New York around 1:40 am. I just stayed there not knowing what to do. I did not know where to go as I was running away from people I knew. Nothing was real to me except for God and His punishment.

Later on I found Central Park and that became my home. I slept in the park with other homeless people from Mexico. Couple of years ago I had come to the US thinking it to be the paradise and now I was in the park with other homeless people. It was just not real to me but thought I had to pay the price for my choice. This was summer of 2001 and in New York living in the street and the park. I used to get free foods from the church people who would come during certain time of the day to give away free foods.

I used to go to a nearby public library to check my email just to see what was going on. One day I got an email from my father who happened to be in New York and had come all the way from Australia to see me. I did not know what to do. I did not have the courage to come out and tell my father that I was living in the park. I just turned off the computer and left. I could not believe what was going on. My father left without seeing me.

Almost whole summer was gone and I thought about leaving New York. For some reason I thought police was after me. And all this time in New York I wanted to kill myself. I used to go to the subway station several times but never had the gut to jump off. There was something inside me that did not let me do that. That summer I knew all the streets in New York City and places they would give free foods and places where you could sleep without police hassling you.

While I was in the street and when the church people would come to give us foods they would also try to give us tracts telling us about forgiveness of sins. I would think to myself that I was such a sinner that would not be forgiven. So I did not take those tracts and also never talked to them.

So about the end of July I decided to get out of New York. But where to go I did not know. I wanted to go somewhere nobody would find me. As I had tried everyother way to kill myself in New York, I wanted to go somewhere and just starve to death. Then I thought of Cheyenne, WY. The reason was that I had gone through Cheyenne on my way to San Francisco. And only in Cheyenne the bus stops next to a highway. I thought I would get off in Cheyenne and walk away from the highway thinking I would get to some kind of jungle or atleast far away from humanity. So I got on the bus leaving New York for Cheyenne. I had no idea what I was doing. Though the living was so painful I could not kill myself. More I thought about the past the burden of guilt got heavier.

Finally I got off in Cheyenne and started walikng away from the highway. I used to sleep all day and walk all night. To my surprise I came across another highway. After walking for about 3 days I came to the border of Wyoming and Colorado. I found a bridge under I-25 and spent about 5 days there. There was no sign of dying and my mind was close to exploding with all the guilt that I had. Where to run now when the guilt was up there in my mind. How to run away from my own mind? I have no idea how I did not go insane. I wish I went crazy so that I would not have to live in reality but that did not happen either. Then I thought about the people in New York who came to me with the tracts and was telling me about the forgiveness of sins. I thought I would go back again to New York and see if that is really true. I had no choice so I decided to talk to those people.

I had about $10-15 left with me and decided to walk back. After walking about 5 miles I came to the flying-J truck stop in Cheyenne. In the truck stop there was a store and they sold Bibles. For some reason I decided to buy the Bible. I started reading it. It started to make sense to me. The thing that really hit me was the parable about the prodigal son. I felt as if it was written about me. But still I thought that now it was too late for me.

So I was at the truck stop trying to hitch a ride to New York. This was my first time hitch-hiking. Taking an advice from an expert hitch-hikers, I stood there with a sigh saying "EAST BOUND". This did not seem real to me at all. I had seen hitch-hikers before but now I was there with that sign.

So I did not get a straight ride but from one truck stop to another. Finally I got in Lincoln, NE. I was at Lincoln truckstop for about couple of days but had not got a ride. The employee at the truck stop was warning me that if I did not go away he had to call police on me. So 3 in the morning I was outside the truck stop looking for a ride. Then a US mail truck pulled over and a man got out. I ran to him and asked him to give me a ride as further east as he could. He did not say yes but said that he would think about it. But later he agreed to give me a ride as he was only going to Omaha. While we were riding I told him briefly why I was going to New York. He was a newly converted Christian. He told me to check out People' City Mission which he said was a Christian organization. SInce I was not going to New York to meet any particular person so I decided to do as he said.

He dropped me off at the People's City Mission. I tried to talk to the chaplain over there but they did not seem to understand me. Since they provided shelter and food I stayed there. I used to sleep the whole day. All the time I was there I still had that intense suicidal tendency. Every evening they used to have a chapel. And I used to go there. The preacher would preach about the same forgiveness message and would hit me right through my heart. But again I did not believe I would be forgiven. There were some other messages that really made sense to me and thought that only if I had heard it a year ago I would have changed myself. But again thought it was too late to change anything.

I wondered what I was doing while I was attending all those Monmouth Christian Fellowship and at that Philipino Church in San Francisco. Had I listened carefully then and had I took those words into my heart maybe I would not have to face this day. I still thought that it was too late for me now.

One day I built up some energy and decided to walk into the downtown Lincoln. As I was walking through the downtown, I came across University of Nebraska-Lincoln(UNL). I went inside and got on the internet. I learned about the Christian Student Fellowship(CSF) there. I went to the office of CSF. I met Dan the minister at UNL. I talked to him about what I had gone through. He told me that I had to forget the past and go from there. But I thought he was not understanding what I had been through and what I had done in the past.

I met him couple of times after that but still was not convinced that I was forgiven. One morning as I was walking I heard in a PA system calling for Jim at a nearby. company.Jim might have been an employee there. Then I suddenly thought about Br. Jim who used to be a guidance counselor back in my high school. Br. Jim had helped me both financially and psychologically during my high school. All this time I did not think about him and now suddenly I thought about him. He had come to the US 9 years ago.

I had got rid of everything as I was going from places to places. But I still had my wallet and in there I found his address. I did not know if he was still at the same address but had the strong feeling that I needed to go see him. He knew about YET-ESA and in fact he was one of the founders of that. I thought to myself that if Br. Jim could accept what I had done then anybody could. I just felt that I needed to go see him quick.

I told Dan that I was going to Columbus, OH to see Br. Jim. So Again I got on the bus to Columbus. It was about 23 hours bus ride. All through out the bus ride I just prayed to God as now if there was anybody who could help it would be God. I did not know what to do but to ask God for help. Finally I got to Columbus and by taking a local bus I got to his address.

Brother was happy to see me. It had been almost 10 years since the last time I had seen him. We went inside and I started to talk to him. I told him everything from my high school days. Brother just told me to calm down. I was thinking that brother would explode but instead he accepted me just the way I was. I could not believe what was going on. There was amazing Grace right there. God did not appear to me in person but certainly used brother to open my eyes. The song "amazing grace" kept going in my head. God did not appear like He did to Paul but it was indeed a very close encounter with God.

I stayed there for 3 days. All these days brother counseled me and made me think that I was not a "junk". I could not believe that it was happening to me. After 3 days brother came to see me off at the bus stop and was on my way to Lincoln. In those 3 days not even once brother told me that I had to become a Christian.

So I was again on the bus back to Lincoln. This time it was different. I was truely convinced that I was forgiven and received God's Grace firsthand. I did not know what to do again. I just asked God what He wanted me to do. There was nothing absolutely nothing that I could do in comparison to what God had done to me. I was so amazed by God's love. He gave me everything even though I did not know him and now He gave me which I cannot describe in words. I truely surrendered myself for His will. I was ready to do anything for my Lord.

I looked back in my days again. I remembered those days that I thought God was punishing me, but now I was sure those days were a blessing. I now knew how much my Lord loved me that he went out of his way to open my eyes, to have me see the light and have the life abundantly. I was living a life of a destruction but only he knew where I was heading. I was so blind that I would not see anything. He tried to open my eyes by doing light treatment but it did not work. Then He had to use a major surgery to open my eyes. And thats what He did. He did it cause He loved me so much. It again seemed like John Newton wrote that song "Amazing Grace" so that one day one person would sing it from his heart. It was just incredible to think that Jesus would die for a person like me. I just cannot describe in words how I felt the moment I was convinced that I was forgiven and came to know Jesus, our Lord.

In one thought I wanted to be a monk. I wanted to give up everything and just worship the Lord forever. But again I thought of doing whatever He asks me to do even if its giving up my life. It would be much nicer to be with Him now than be in this selfish world.

I got back in Lincoln and got baptized in river platt by Dan in September 30, 2001.

I started reading my Bible seriously. Being a Christian myself, I thought I am to take the words of the Bible as literal, after all they are God's words. So I began to look into the Bible. I was in the book of John and the verse " I am the way, the truth and the life nobody comes to the Father except through me." caught my eyes. I thought about the verse a lot. Then all the people I know and love dearly came to my mind. I thought about all of them and they not making it to Heaven with me bothered me a lot. Not only the people I know and those with good hearts but I thought about the whole world in general. The thought of all these people going into Hell for eternity was severely bothering to me. Imagine for eternity, its not a million or a billion but forever and ever and ever, going into punishment, that reality was just too harsh for me. I had a strong feeling that nobody should be put into that eternal condemnation. But being a Ch ristian, I had to swallow the bitter truth about the reality of Hell.

So I began to think about what I could do as a new Christian, full of excitement and fire. This was around December of last year. So I came to the conclusion that only way to have everybody go to Heaven was to win the whole world for Christ.

Then I came to know the different denominations in the Family. Well initially I thought you were either Christian or not. But that was not true. This different divisions in our Family also bothered me a lot. Again I thought about it a lot.

How can you tell other people when your family is divided in the first place? I began to ask this question to myself. Then I felt the need for the Unity of all these denominations. We all know that united we stand and we need to do that. Once we are united as a Family then we can impact rest of the world. Once we are united as a Family then it will be lot easier to tell other people. We need to get together as CHRISTIANS and practice what Jesus told us in the Bible that is to seek out the lost souls. We need to practice EXTREME CHRISTIANITY.

So I feel that strong calling from God that is to go out as a missionary to the Christian World itself. Go about into the Christian world itself preaching them about the need for Unity among us. Go about into the Christian world itself preaching them about what Christianity is like and insist them to practice Extreme Christianity. I have been thinking about it a lot but have not done yet. I dont know when the Holy Spirit will come upon me and just lead me to where I need to go.

This is how I got this VISION- Unity of the Body and eventually winning the whole world for Christ.

I was so excited about this vision. I just wanted to go around then trying to unite the Body of Christ. I just wanted to GO. But Dan, a friend and a minister told me to take some time training myself. I thought about it and agreed. And thought Bible College was an answer at that time. I had never been to the Bible College before. I was just excited that I was going to a Bible College.

So Last January, I came to Platte Valley Bible College with a Vision and a Mission to accomplish. Only when I got there I came to know that I was more wrong than right. To learn about God's words was part of the reason to come to a Bible College, more than that I expected I would have a community of brotherhood among the fellow students with whom I could share my vision and work as a team. But I did not find that at the Bible College I was in. For me it seemed more like a secular college.

I talked to God and asked Him about the vision that I had seen. There was no unity at such a small Bible College ( about 40 ) and all of them here as they say are Christians. I wondered about the vision of bringing unity in the whole world. It did seem impossible to me but still the desire did not go away. In spite of not seeing any unity at such a small scale, I was still excited about my vision, it was still there inside of me. I could still feel God telling me to be patient.

So the whole semester, due to my disappointment, I used to sleep most the time. I tried to talk to the student body but to no avail. They all had their own priorities and did not feel anybody was living the true "CHRISTIAN LIFE". But then I understood their situation. None of them had to go through an experience to come to know the Lord. They were raised in Chrisitian homes and they grew up knowing about Jesus. It was not any new life to them the life in CHRIST. There was no excitement or thrill being a Christian and the life of forgiveness and Grace.

The semester got done pretty quick and in no time it was summer. God willing, that summer I came to Ocean City, Maryland. All during summer I was so much on fire. I tried to reach out to the area churches. I went to a Bapstist church, a catholic church, a christian fellowship center. But soon the summer (2002) was over.

Now again I am back in school. I know things still are not going the way I want but I still have to same zeal that I had a year ago. I am still excited about my vision like I always was. And I know the vision is not going to die unless I die.

I am praying about it a lot. I talk to God a lot and ask Him to direct me what I need to do. And I have full faith in the Lord. I know He knows all of our hearts and provide our needs. So in His timing He is going to provide my needs and there will be UNITY if its His will and the whole world will worship our Lord, Jesus Christ. I always imagine that day. And just thinking about that day gives me JOY.

If you are still wondering, yes I am a dreamer. I am truely a dreamer. And dreamers are often misunderstood and told to come back to earth. I have met all kinds of people [even Christian Family], who ask me , "how you going to do it?" and say that I have a good vision, but....I do understand their hesitations but I got to be true to my heart. This dream of Christian Unity and winning the world for Christ constantly burns within me. I tell you if this dream is from God then it will happen but if this is my own imagination then we will find that out in due time. Till then I have to move forward and do what the Lord puts in my heart.

I think I will stop here as I still have much to say. But I will continue with my conversation as I get responses from you all. So that I can tell you about what I am involved at present.

There are various ways to contact me if you want. You can email me at montougurung@hotmail.com. If you use MSN messanger then my address is montougurung@hotmail.com. The best way to communicate is phone but its also the hardest way. So if any of you feel led by the Spirit then feel free to call me at 308 635 2191.

Will you all please join with me to pray for Christian Unity and to those who are lost...

I Saw Jesus

the vision

Most of my life I had felt ignored by God.

As a child I had heard about the wrath of God,

and I thought of him as a stern man sitting on a throne in heaven. He was watching us intently, but not really feeling a lot of love towards us.

He was waiting for us to mess up and sin.

When we did, he would put a red check mark next to our name in his big book of life.

I often found myself counting up my sins, and wondering if I had enough check marks to go to hell yet.

Later as an adult I had grown to believe in a kinder and gentler God.

I had not been to church for many years, though I was a believer in Jesus, and I loved him.

Suddenly I felt like he was calling me to know him better.

I started reading other people's testimoneys of him, and also people's near death experiences. Some had actually gone to Heaven, and met him.

The more I read, the closer I felt to him.

I met a new friend who invited me to church.

I said, "Yes," anything that would draw me closer to him.

As I sat in church, the minister asked the question, "What is the mountain in your life?" He told us to take a few minutes to meditate about it.

I thought about things I had not been able to overcome in my life.

My biggest mountain was definitely the lack of forgiveness I felt for other peoplewho I thought had wronged me or hurt me in some way.

I could easily walk out of people's lives, and hold a grudge for twenty years, or for the rest of my life for that matter.

As I thought about these things, I felt a deep wrenching pain in my heart, even physical pain, as though my heart was being squeezed tight in my chest.

I bowed my head.

I knew what the bible says about forgiveness, and I thought, "Jesus is probably mad at me."

Still feeling the deep pain in my heart, I thought, "Look for the face of Jesus."

I had read that somewhere, but I didn't think I would literally see him.

If I did see him, I was sure he would come condemning me.

As I was thinking I should look for his face, I raised my eyes, and couldn't have been more surprised by what I actually saw.

It was Jesus! I saw his face! He was alive, and moving around.

He was right there in that room with me.

He had dark, shoulder length hair, and he was wearing a crown of thorns.

I just gazed up at him, and he was smiling at me with the most loving smile I have ever seen in my life!

The first thing I thought is that, he looks a little different than in his pictures, but only slightly different.

I felt no condemnation from him at all, and that greatly surprised me. I remembered hearing stories about a wrathful God.

Next I felt him sending me love, and there was compassion in the love.

It was an overwhelming kind of love that I was sure human beings aren't capable of.

I just kept gazing up at him, and I was in awe that he could love me that much.

The love gave me a feeling of bliss. I was totally absorbed by his love, to the point where I felt my heart could burst if I took in much more of it.

I have never experienced anything like it, and I'm sure that I never will as long as I'm on the Earth.

I just continued to gaze up at him, and he continued to smile at me. The look on his face was like I was the only person in the world that mattered to him. I'm sure he must look at each one of us that way.

Throughout the whole vision, he never once stopped smiling at me.

Next, I saw him sending beams of transparent, white light towards my heart.

I could feel the light penetrating my being.

The light was nothing but love and compassion.

I noticed things about his personality. He was very kind and loving, not condemning at all towards me.

I only felt a strong outpouring of love from him.

Next he began to communicate with me, but no words were used.

He communicated to me by sending me feelings, and there was knowledge in the feeling sthat I understood instantly and clearly as it was transferred into my mind.

He said that he already knew about it all, my lack of forgiveness towards others, how I had been hurt by others, and what circumstances in my life had made me feel that way.

He said, "I know everything about you."

That surprised me greatly, but I also felt comforted by it.

It meant that he had never been far from me like I always thought, but I had been constantly under his supervision like when our own children are small, and we never let them out of our eye sight.

Again, I could feel more compassion from him pouring out to me.

He spoke again. He said, "I feel your pain. I grieve with you."

He was like a loving parent who will pick you up when you are hurting, and hold you in the strong embrace of his loving arms.

He will comfort you, and wipe away every tear from your eyes.

After he had spent time comforting me, he spoke again. He told me not to worry or concern myself with these things because he would take care of it all.

I felt like a burden had been lifted, and I sensed the strength in him. He could easily carry my budens with no problem at all.

I was still looking at him, still surprised by some of the things that he said.

He still wore that loving smile on his face that could melt the heart of the worst, hardened sinner.

He was still sending me love, and it was to overflowing.

There was so much love that I felt like my heart couldn't hold it all.

Suddenly, I started to feel like I couldn't handle it anymore.

Seeing all of the goodness and purity in him, I felt like I may break down into tears and sobs.

I started to feel unworthy of his pure holiness.

He was clearly a soul that had evolved to the highest level of pure perfesction.

I became aware of even my smallest sins and imperfections.

I felt unworthy of him, and then I looked away.

When I looked back, he wasn't there any more, but I was left with a feeling of total awe.

Jesus had been there.

I had seen him.

I had felt him.

He had communicated with me,

and the one thing I was left knowing was that he loved me more than anyone had ever loved me in my life!

A few days later I thought about about how I had sat in church that day knowing I had sinned, and yet jesus blessed me with a vision.

He wasn't a cruel tyrant who had tried to break my will, but he had drawn me to him with love and compassion. He had restored in me my spirit for forgiving all in my life who had wronged me because love cancels out fear, anger, resentment, anger, and anything else that's negative in your life.

Later I read in the Bible, John 3:16:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that who so ever believeth in him should not perish,but have everlasting life.

As I read even further it said:

For God sent not his son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved.

He that believeth on him is not condemned, but he that believeth not is already condemned because he has not believed.

I had sought to know him with my whole heart and soul, and I had not been dissapointed.

I remembered that He had worn the crown of thorns in my vision.

I realize now, that they were meant to be symbolic, a reminder to me of how he loved us all enough to be lifted up, and crucified on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins.

The crown of thorns are a symbol of his love that he feels for each one of us.

He had truly shown me what forgiveness is.

Karen Templin
jtemplin@bellsouth.net